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O = the orientation factor
g: gay
g: gay but closeted
l: lesbian
lc: lesbian but closeted
b: bi
bc: bi but closeted
s: straight
B = the beef factor
B+++: big meaty linebacker!
B++: beefcake
B+: beefier than average
B: average
B-: runningback
B--: swimmer's build
t = the tackle factor
t++: tackles everyone on the field (strictly polygamous)
t+: tackles only opponents (open-ended relationships)
t: sometimes tackles opponents, sometimes tackles teammates (either way)
t-: prefers tackling teammates (prefers formal relationships)
t--: always tackles teammates (seeks relationship)
(this category can be combined with any of the orientations above; for instance, tg++ ts-- means that one strongly desires a relationship with an opposite-sex jock but will tackle like it's football jock mating season when with same-sex dudes)
k = the kink factor
k++: willing to try all sorts of new stuff
k+: curious and experimentative
k: average
k-: pretty comfortable with what they know
k--: knows what sort of tacklin' they need and they stay with that
b = the buff factor
b+++: a world-class bodybuilder *and* a football jock!
b++: man, those are *muscles*
b+: some definition/"blue collar"
b: average
f = the "fur" factor
f+++: Guinness Book of World Records burly
f++: Mr. Bear
f+: furrier than average
f: average
f-: some chest hair
f--: some leg hair ;)
f---: smooth!
l = the length factor (for jockdudes):
l+++: oh my gosh!!
l++: dude!
l+: wow!
l: average
s = the straight-acting factor (or "butch factor")
s+++: nobody thinks you're gay when you're *kissing someone of the same sex*, that's how straight you seem
s++: damn straight
s+: people look mildly confused when they see your pink triangle bumper sticker
s: average
s-: lavender jersey with pink triangle on the helmet
s--: lavender jersey reads "Snoquiesha, Queen of the Gridiron"
c = the coach factor
c++!: you actually work as a coach ;)
c++: your significant other will drop and give you 20 whenever you say so
c+: you own a whistle and a sun visor
c: could be a coach, could be a player
c-: team captain, but not usually the coach
c--: regular ol' jock, not the coach
c---: you drop and give your significant other 20 whenever he/she says so
v = the voice factor
v+++: deep, extremely manly jock voice
v++: deep, very masculine jock voice
v+: deep, masculine jock voice
v: average
v-: a bit higher than average
v--: sorta high voice
v---: high voice
g = the game factor
g+++: NFL/CFL player
g++: college player
g+: high school ball
g: average (watches it on TV)
g-: played it once or twice
g--: never played it, don't know how (but definitely open to learning)
g---: you hate the game itself but the guys are *so cute*
p = the peculiarity factor (no judgement on good or bad)
the requisite additional punctuation:
? for unsure (c? = not sure if they're a coach)
! for the ultimate (v+++! = dude has the sexiest deepest jock voice you've ever heard)
v for varies (sv: sometimes you act butch, sometimes you don't)
: for observed traits, rather than known ones (b++: means that he's wearing thick clothing, but you're pretty sure he's really buff)
() for a range of possibilities ( tg--(++) means that one will tackle with mad abandon or desire a relationship, based on the situation)
some examples:
Tatankajock: Gm Obc B+ t-- k-(+) b f++! l s+ c-- v+ g-- p
Tatankajock's ideal jockdude: Gm Ob B++ t(--) k- b++ f--(---)! lv s+++! c-(+) v++ g++ p
Tatankajock's ideal jockgrrl: Gf Ob B+ t--! k++ b++ f---! s++! c(+) v? g+(---) p
Grall: Gm Og B t(--) k++ b f-- l s++ c-- v g- p
Tatankajock guessing about Grimmlok: Gm Og? B t-(+) k+ b f-- l+ s++ c v+ g-
Tatankajock guessing about Brett Favre: Gm Os? B++! t-? k-? b++! f--:? l? s+++ c? v++ g+++!